Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sup with having the nothing to say?

So im in this pickle right now... I started talk to a girl I pretty much know nothing about and I like her just from the small convos we have had already. I would like to get to know her more but I cant come up with questions! lol... I feel stuck and I dont know what to ask her. Sure the obvious thing is to ask basics, and even that seems to not exist in my mind! blah blah blah blah lol...

anybody wanna give me some questions to ask. hopefully my mind will pick it up from there xD

Friday, October 29, 2010

Sup English class!

Cool beans assignment making me write an essay on what you see below... I agree with the author but i'm just not sure how to write it down lol...

The Rewards of Living a Solitary Life
The other day an acquaintance of mine, a gregarious and charming man, told me he had found himself unexpectedly alone in New York for an hour or two between appointments. He went to the Whitney and spent the "empty" time looking at things in solitary bliss. For him it proved to be a shock nearly as great as falling in love to discover that he could enjoy himself so much alone.

What had he been afraid of, I asked myself? That, suddenly alone, he would discover that he bored himself, or that there was, quite simply, no self there to meet? But having taken the plunge, he is now on the brink of adventure; he is about to be launched into his own inner space, space as immense, unexplored, and sometimes frightening as outer space to the astronaut. His every perception will come to him with a new freshness and, for a time, seem startlingly original. For anyone who can see things for himself with a naked eye becomes, for a moment or two, something of a genius. With another human being present vision becomes double vision, inevitably. We are busy wondering, what does my companion see or think of this, and what do I think of it? The original impact gets lost, or diffused.

"Music I heard with you was more than music."* Exactly. And therefore music itself can only be heard alone. Solitude is the salt of personhood. It brings out the authentic flavor of every experience.

"Alone one is never lonely: the spirit adventures, walking/In a quiet garden, in a cool house, abiding single there."

Loneliness is most acutely felt with other people, for with others, even with a lover sometimes, we suffer from our differences of taste, temperament, mood. Human intercourse often demands that we soften the edge of perception, or withdraw at the very instant of personal truth for fear of hurting, or of being inappropriately present, which is to say naked, in a social situation. Alone we can afford to be wholly whatever we are, and to feel whatever we feel absolutely. That is a great luxury!

For me the most interesting thing about a solitary life, and mine has been that for the last twenty years, is that it becomes increasingly rewarding. When I wake up and watch the sun rise over the ocean, as I do most days, and know that I have an entire day ahead, uninterrupted, in which to write a few pages, take a walk with my dog, lie down in the afternoon for a long think (why does one think better in a horizontal position?), read and listen to music, I am flooded with happiness.

I am lonely only when I am overtired, when I have worked too long without a break, when for the time being I feel empty and need filling up. And I am lonely sometimes when I come back home after a lecture trip, when I have seen a lot of people and talked a lot, and am full to the brim with experience that needs to be sorted out.

Then for a little while the house feels huge and empty, and I wonder where my self is hiding. It has to be recaptured slowly by watering the plants, perhaps, and looking again at each one as though it were a person, by feeding the two cats, by cooking a meal.

It takes a while, as I watch the surf blowing up in fountains at the end of the field, but the moment comes when the world falls away, and the self emerges again from the deep unconscious, bringing back all I have recently experienced to be explored and slowly understood, when I converse again with my hidden powers, and so grow, and so be renewed, till death do us part.

- May Sarton

Sunday, October 24, 2010


Yay for having to study for 3 tests that will happen on the same day. yay... so much homework to do and on top of that mom is sick with the flu D:... lol I need hazmat suit xD. Everybody is getting sick lol ... YAY! .... anybody going trick or treating? I WONT! ill be stuck in the house studying for an exam! YAY ME RIGHT? lol...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Sup With Random Thoughts?

Seriously random thought jumped into my head... Sex and Dreams... how do they relate to life. Sex is a tool to make the body happy and dreams are to make the mind happy. What do you think?

Monday, October 18, 2010

Sup with card games?

We all once upon a time had some form of trading cards either baseball cards, pokemon, yu gi oh, or even magic the gathering. Sure there are other types, but these are off the top of my head =P. I currently play Magic the gathering and yu gi oh as a hobby to clear my mind of stressful school related activities. Anyways, anybody who knows anybody who is serious about these card games knows that these games can get pretty intense. I from time to time get serious and I personally think that these games should be taken seriously if your playing. If your not serious then your play style is sloppy and perfected resulting in you getting your butt handed to you by a 14yr old. Games will always have serious players and even tournaments for them. Tournaments usually mean prizes and prizes usually bring a lot of competition. =P I plan on going to one once I get the cards I need. Here is my deck list/potential deck, still tweaking the deck around.

Cardname/Cards needed
Captivating Vampire/4
Gatekeeper of Malakir/4
Kalastria Highborn/4
Malakir Bloodwitch/2
Pulse Tracker/4
Doom Blade/4
Marsh Casualties/4
Mind Sludge/2
Urge to feed/4
Bladed the Bloodchief/3
Feast of Blood/4
Vampire Hexmage/4
Vampire Lacerator/4
Vampire Nocturnus/4
Viscera Seer/4
Marsh Flats/2
Verdant Catacombs/4

This just a rough but refined list of what I had before... lol give me feedback if you played magic or any trading card game.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sup with writing ?

Writing to me is the trip to and from a restaurant with people.

Before starting the journey I feel puzzled.

I look for excuses before I get going.

I procrastinate on deciding where to go.

Delay preparations for the voyage.

I browse the web for a menu of ideas.

Stressful beginnings take off.

Ideas irrelevant to my future flood my mind.

Progress seems out of reach.

Finally sit down at a table and skim through the menu.

I know what I want.

Overwhelmed with thoughts, ideas pour onto paper.

I watch the waiters deliver food.

The smells of ideas around me organize my stomach.

Food arrives, I dig in. Success waits for me.

Assignment was to write an extended metaphor... poem thing ... and i wrote about what writing is to me but connecting it to a restaurant.

gimme feedback =)

Friday, October 15, 2010

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Sup ?

yah was busy yesterday... so yeah :) enjoy an early starter post ;)

alright... this is me playing :) CoD:MW2 with my clan buds warming up for a tourny. you will hear them talking and me from time to time :P

Monday, October 11, 2010

Sup With CoDBlack Ops ?

Sup ?

Poop day, had my assignments turned in but felt like " I WANT TO GET OUTTA HERE NOW " ... you know what im saying? then i had a test ... that i didnt study too much for... and got a 45% ... yay me right? ... -.-' time to change up my study schedule ... read the chapters every day, 3 days before each test... + homework/assignments... ugh... -.- I want a cookie cake... or some toast... with jam.

was your day better then mine? i bet you cant beat it! yay sarcasm through text! wheeee.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Sup With Dreams

weird dream last night. i was hanging out with a friend of mine, (unknown girl) and she fell into some kind of water way... i chased after her and the waters got really rough because of some kind of water pump at the end... i hit my head on a stone pillar and i get knocked out and my friend managed to get a grip of another pillar. I woke up in my dream in a different world, and i found out i died in the water trying to save my friend. the spirit guide who found me said that i wasn't ready to die but im not ready to leave the spirit realm either. so i went through a lot of shit in the spirit world trying to save my friend and clear my "unfinished business" that i had and apparently i had to go through some kind of test where i helped another spirit with his unfinished business. in order to leave the spirit realm u needed a "ticket" looked like a train ticket or something and i was the the only one with a ticket, the other spirit guy wanted to use my ticket to get back home, and i gave that guy my ticket, so im basically stuck in spirit world if i do that. he was nervous about his decision but he ended up giving me the ticket that was mine and i got back to the real world. i was in the water on the pillar and my friend was dieing further down. while i was in the spirit realm i went through tasks that led up to me viewing my own death and learning how to prevent it, without actually realizing i can help myself and my friend because i was dead at the time.
after i got my ticket, and got on the train. i woke up in the water. not knowing wtf happened, then i realized my friend was dieing so i jumped away from the pillar i was on into the raging waters to catch my friend who was now underwater and unconscious. we were roughly 15 feet away from the water pump that would kills us. i grabbed her, and a pillar, put her waste on my chest and grabbed a ledge that would lead us out of the water and away from the pump. but we weren't done. there was a narrow walkway/wall that we had to walk across to get to safety. to my left the wall surrounded the water pump and its potential... to my right was the chemicals that cleaned the water, but could boil my skin on contact... my friend woke up and i told her what had to be done.
i suggested go through the chemical area cuz we had shoes and we would be fine as long as we dont fall in... she was already at the other wall climbing past the pump to her safety... she got to the balcony, safe away from everything. i was still on the wall and i didnt move. she told me to just take the same side she did and i said no, i could jump over the chemicals by stepping on the walls jumping like 3 foot gaps each time... i made it but i stepped in the chemicals and people on the balcony had sandals so they would still get hurt. i had to wash off my feet with w/e i could find. so i used a puddle and that ended up spreading the chemicals all over the floor. then out of nowhere my friend poured water from the water fountain onto my feet and washed all the chemicals away. then out of nowhere my mother opens the door at the balcony and asks where i have been all day, and why am i wet. i told her i was looking for my wife. and at that moment i wrapped my arms around my friend and kissed her. mom freaked out cuz i was still soaked in water but she calmed down because i was ok....

out of all that.... i dont think i ever saw the girls face... but yet shes my wife? im confused something happened in the spirit world and i guess i told the girl how i felt when she was knocked out but i didnt think she heard me...

any thoughts?

Saturday, October 9, 2010


IDK my BFF Drew?

not even sure what is going on with today. woke up not wanting to get out of bed. went to bathroom not wanting to piss. went into fridge not wanting to eat... today is just one of those days you wished you could skip... blargh

looked at bookbag and noticed i have multiply assignments to do, but dont feel like picking up my bag... look a chair..... i dont want to sit down... look the floor.... sure ill sleep there for 5 more hours... night world

Friday, October 8, 2010


hmmm my day: good, got check from fedex, better, cashed both of my checks, awesome, went to tates, super sayon 5 awesome, went to five guys and had the best burger of my life. =D (for those of you who live in florida, then again u could have what i mentioned around you ... :P )

on top of that i got 200 bucks worth of magic the gathering cards lol... ima beast mode a deck and head to tournys =) anybody play? hit me up

Thursday, October 7, 2010


Like all others
there is
a strength from within
I refuse to lose
I refuse to die.

I adapt to turmoil
I adapt to peace
I refuse to be idle
I refuse not knowing.

Constant changes
but I remain the same
constant thinking
but I remain silent
I refuse to share.

I allow privileges
I deny access
I dont stand alone
I refuse to lose
I refuse to die.

Give me feedback on what you think. Thanks. Its for English1102 ;)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Small things noticed everyday

Everyday something new, but not so new is noticed and is destroyed or violated the next. An office chair perfect and new one day, the next it is destroyed because somebody is bored... new furniture in a library covered in gum the next day.... wtf -.-

Tuesday, October 5, 2010