Thursday, November 4, 2010


... I have to write a 3 page 750+ word essay on how living alone brings it rewards... I posted the story earlyer on... but damn this essay IS KILLING ME!...

This is what I have so far....

Solitaire IRL (In real life)
May Sarton believes a solitary lifestyle brings its own rewards. Being alone gives you time to explore your inner self whereas being in a group of friends or with a loved one distorts your reactions and emotions. Being alone also gives you space needed to be you verses being with somebody and sharing the experience. Although living on your own may or may not be an experience you have come across like May Sarton, living a solitary lifestyle can bring its own rewards. Some of these rewards include opportunities to find your true identity, space to experience life at its fullest, and an atmosphere that's less chaotic.
There is always a starting point and an ending point you just have to start, and a great way to start with finding your inner self would be to just grab a book or an Ipod and think while you read or listen. Thinking doesn't require a lot of time or effort just recall your actions and reflect back on your previous actions. Organize your actions into categories and then find your faults and mistakes. Give yourself time to collect your thoughts look at your achievements compare them to your faults. Your overall experiences should cancel each other out and from there you will be able to answer this question “Who am I?” When you don't know who you really are, you become a slave to your feelings, constantly reacting to them and becoming confused when they change. Thinking to yourself rather than living off of your feelings will give you a solid foundation that remains the same no matter how changing circumstances affect your feelings. When you trust yourself, you'll experience lasting peace that will guard your heart and mind in any situation.
When your living with another person your space is shared, split, entwined. When your alone you are entitled to experience everything yourself without distortions from anybody else. You do not have to worry about what the other person is thinking or wither or not they approve, the experience is yours. Give your experiences your undivided attention and realize something else is there. You must first recognize that you are alone and learn to live without somebody with you. Every breath you take is yours alone and unshared with anybody. Once you learn how to be alone you will no longer be chained to the desperate need to keep a person in your life. If you cannot handle the thought of being alone you will always be in a position of weakness in your relationships. However, once you learn how to be alone and truly enjoy it you’ll be able to negotiate your relationships from a position of strength knowing that you can end it and be okay.

wanna give me feedback? criticize on anything, aslong as i get an A on the paper, im happy

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sup with having the nothing to say?

So im in this pickle right now... I started talk to a girl I pretty much know nothing about and I like her just from the small convos we have had already. I would like to get to know her more but I cant come up with questions! lol... I feel stuck and I dont know what to ask her. Sure the obvious thing is to ask basics, and even that seems to not exist in my mind! blah blah blah blah lol...

anybody wanna give me some questions to ask. hopefully my mind will pick it up from there xD

Friday, October 29, 2010

Sup English class!

Cool beans assignment making me write an essay on what you see below... I agree with the author but i'm just not sure how to write it down lol...

The Rewards of Living a Solitary Life
The other day an acquaintance of mine, a gregarious and charming man, told me he had found himself unexpectedly alone in New York for an hour or two between appointments. He went to the Whitney and spent the "empty" time looking at things in solitary bliss. For him it proved to be a shock nearly as great as falling in love to discover that he could enjoy himself so much alone.

What had he been afraid of, I asked myself? That, suddenly alone, he would discover that he bored himself, or that there was, quite simply, no self there to meet? But having taken the plunge, he is now on the brink of adventure; he is about to be launched into his own inner space, space as immense, unexplored, and sometimes frightening as outer space to the astronaut. His every perception will come to him with a new freshness and, for a time, seem startlingly original. For anyone who can see things for himself with a naked eye becomes, for a moment or two, something of a genius. With another human being present vision becomes double vision, inevitably. We are busy wondering, what does my companion see or think of this, and what do I think of it? The original impact gets lost, or diffused.

"Music I heard with you was more than music."* Exactly. And therefore music itself can only be heard alone. Solitude is the salt of personhood. It brings out the authentic flavor of every experience.

"Alone one is never lonely: the spirit adventures, walking/In a quiet garden, in a cool house, abiding single there."

Loneliness is most acutely felt with other people, for with others, even with a lover sometimes, we suffer from our differences of taste, temperament, mood. Human intercourse often demands that we soften the edge of perception, or withdraw at the very instant of personal truth for fear of hurting, or of being inappropriately present, which is to say naked, in a social situation. Alone we can afford to be wholly whatever we are, and to feel whatever we feel absolutely. That is a great luxury!

For me the most interesting thing about a solitary life, and mine has been that for the last twenty years, is that it becomes increasingly rewarding. When I wake up and watch the sun rise over the ocean, as I do most days, and know that I have an entire day ahead, uninterrupted, in which to write a few pages, take a walk with my dog, lie down in the afternoon for a long think (why does one think better in a horizontal position?), read and listen to music, I am flooded with happiness.

I am lonely only when I am overtired, when I have worked too long without a break, when for the time being I feel empty and need filling up. And I am lonely sometimes when I come back home after a lecture trip, when I have seen a lot of people and talked a lot, and am full to the brim with experience that needs to be sorted out.

Then for a little while the house feels huge and empty, and I wonder where my self is hiding. It has to be recaptured slowly by watering the plants, perhaps, and looking again at each one as though it were a person, by feeding the two cats, by cooking a meal.

It takes a while, as I watch the surf blowing up in fountains at the end of the field, but the moment comes when the world falls away, and the self emerges again from the deep unconscious, bringing back all I have recently experienced to be explored and slowly understood, when I converse again with my hidden powers, and so grow, and so be renewed, till death do us part.

- May Sarton

Sunday, October 24, 2010


Yay for having to study for 3 tests that will happen on the same day. yay... so much homework to do and on top of that mom is sick with the flu D:... lol I need hazmat suit xD. Everybody is getting sick lol ... YAY! .... anybody going trick or treating? I WONT! ill be stuck in the house studying for an exam! YAY ME RIGHT? lol...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Sup With Random Thoughts?

Seriously random thought jumped into my head... Sex and Dreams... how do they relate to life. Sex is a tool to make the body happy and dreams are to make the mind happy. What do you think?

Monday, October 18, 2010

Sup with card games?

We all once upon a time had some form of trading cards either baseball cards, pokemon, yu gi oh, or even magic the gathering. Sure there are other types, but these are off the top of my head =P. I currently play Magic the gathering and yu gi oh as a hobby to clear my mind of stressful school related activities. Anyways, anybody who knows anybody who is serious about these card games knows that these games can get pretty intense. I from time to time get serious and I personally think that these games should be taken seriously if your playing. If your not serious then your play style is sloppy and perfected resulting in you getting your butt handed to you by a 14yr old. Games will always have serious players and even tournaments for them. Tournaments usually mean prizes and prizes usually bring a lot of competition. =P I plan on going to one once I get the cards I need. Here is my deck list/potential deck, still tweaking the deck around.

Cardname/Cards needed
Captivating Vampire/4
Gatekeeper of Malakir/4
Kalastria Highborn/4
Malakir Bloodwitch/2
Pulse Tracker/4
Doom Blade/4
Marsh Casualties/4
Mind Sludge/2
Urge to feed/4
Bladed the Bloodchief/3
Feast of Blood/4
Vampire Hexmage/4
Vampire Lacerator/4
Vampire Nocturnus/4
Viscera Seer/4
Marsh Flats/2
Verdant Catacombs/4

This just a rough but refined list of what I had before... lol give me feedback if you played magic or any trading card game.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sup with writing ?

Writing to me is the trip to and from a restaurant with people.

Before starting the journey I feel puzzled.

I look for excuses before I get going.

I procrastinate on deciding where to go.

Delay preparations for the voyage.

I browse the web for a menu of ideas.

Stressful beginnings take off.

Ideas irrelevant to my future flood my mind.

Progress seems out of reach.

Finally sit down at a table and skim through the menu.

I know what I want.

Overwhelmed with thoughts, ideas pour onto paper.

I watch the waiters deliver food.

The smells of ideas around me organize my stomach.

Food arrives, I dig in. Success waits for me.

Assignment was to write an extended metaphor... poem thing ... and i wrote about what writing is to me but connecting it to a restaurant.

gimme feedback =)